Monthly Archives: November 2012

My advice to anyone wanting to marry

If you have read my first “Things I wish I knew when I was young” post you would understand that I am not against good advice but I do believe it can be harmful if not prioritized correctly. First and foremost I believe that you must understand the Gospel and look to Christ first for your hope and everything. That is our life long lesson and struggle. With that in mind I am going to share some things I consider wise and helpful but they are not to be taken as “law” but as thinking and talking points. No one is going to be perfect and we all fail.

The real question is do we get back up because our eyes are on Christ, or do we pout and stay down? Do we persevere through trials because our joy is found in Christ and our eternal hope set in Him or do we give up because life becomes hard? Do we complain at pain and suffering because we wrongly think God saved us to make us happy earthlings or do we persevere knowing that Christ endured more and has promised us eternal joy and bliss while making us into Christ like people?

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Things I wish I knew when I was younger part 2- men vs women

I wish I knew what really makes men tick, when I was younger. I don’t mean the simple things like women, guns, excitement, but deeper things like meaningful accomplishment, and true leadership.

Like most young men there was a time I was happy to let women lead the relationship thinking it would be easier than the hard life of a true leader, all the while not knowing the damage it was doing to my spirit. Of course men and women are of equal worth but God has created us differently and therefore has given us some differences in our callings, which means our fulfillment in life is based on a few things that are different while many other things are the same.

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Things I wish I knew when I was younger – premarital

I am sure that those of you older than I laugh at the thought of me thinking of myself being younger as if those few years that mark me between this age (young) and that age (younger) constitute a significant passage of time and life growth. To assure you in the positive I will say: it has. Growth sometimes has been slow for me, but it never has been shallow. Like Timothy, people doubt the young, but wisdom comes from God and he doesn’t have an age bias. Let my thoughts speak for themselves.

Many people think they are “ready” for marriage way before they actually are. While a significant amount of people are not “ready” for marriage even though they are married, this point is proven by the high divorce rate among the populace at large. I have learned that being ready for marriage doesn’t mean financial or occupational security (although such things are important to some people), but rather something deeper and more base. With my whole heart I believe God cares more about our character and its development (sanctification) than he does our temporal happiness (ultimately he cares about our eternal happiness, but I am speaking only about earthly things). So while one might think that having a good job, a house, and a bank account are necessary for being ready for marriage, I disagree. Of course having such things doesn’t mean you are not ready, but it doesn’t mean you are ready. Considering our current economic problems I am sure many people will agree with me that a good job and a home give one no security and in fact going from having them to not having them can actually destroy marriages.

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