I wonder if we have been long mistaken. Great friendships are not a series of mutual excitements over large accomplishments, but the reciprocal enjoyment of the mundane and simple life.

Overhearing a group of wonderful, gray haired grandmother’s social intercourse, I came to this epiphany: they are not talking about anything “important” or “monumental” but rather very ordinary things, and taking great joy in it. And that makes all the difference.

Perhaps we have got it all wrong when we get together and think we need to discuss what big things are going on in our lives, always trying to one-up the other in glory, importance, and significance (I’m looking at you Facebook). What if deep and meaningful relationships are not built on the mountaintops of success or even the valleys of disaster, but on the plains of “the little things in life.”

“And as he was down there I asked him to see if he could find that long lost puzzle piece. And you know what? He found it!,” exclaimed one of the darling grandmas to which the room exploded in delight and laughter, as much to the crafted delivery as to the very real enjoyment in rescued puzzle pieces.

To find true and meaningful joy in your friend’s experience of finding her missing puzzle piece, and in her playful interaction with her husband, I think, is the fuel that maintains the hot burning of any meaningful friendship.

Maybe, just maybe, we should spend a little more time finding delight in each other’s ordinary, and yet very real joy. If strong families are not built on the big accomplishments, nor surviving large disasters, but in the every day, mundane, repeating experiences, perhaps friendships too should follow suit.