1. People who season their food with out tasting it. C’mon how do you know if it needs more salt, unless you taste it first. This is usually insulting to the cook, not to mention just plain dumb. Only case where it is ok (maybe) is where you already have had that food over and over and it is consistently in need of extra seasoning. But seriously how hard is it to just taste it first?
2. People who create websites for infants / pets. First we do not care. Second we can see their pictures on your website / facebook. They did not ask you to create a website for them, and neither did we. Thousands of years people have survived (grandparents mainly) without having to go to a website to see their grandchild, we can too!
3. People who send things or write things as if they are from their infants / pets. Look don’t patronize us, we know they cannot say anything, that it’s you speaking. Why pretend it’s from them. Anyways the message would be much more meaningful coming from you than a infant / animal which are considerably less educated than you, the parent.
4. People who give gifts to infants. C’mon, the kid isn’t going to care, nor will remember its from you (unless its a donation to their car / college fund). It’s really for the parents, you know it, we know it, so why pretend it’s not. Little Jimmy don’t need another truck, Jimmy’s parents need a babysitter and a night out. In the long run that might benefit little Jimmy more, esp since it helps add to his parents actually staying together. All the trucks in the world wont keep Little Jimmy’s parents together, a few nights out might help.
5. People who cannot talk and drive. Look if you cannot talk on a cell phone and drive, you have 2 choices, either you stop talking on the cell phone or stop driving. But its because you were too dumb/selfish to do these 2 things that all us competent people are force to do only the things that you are able to do, and not what we were able to do.
6. People who do not go the speed limit. C’mon at least go the speed limit. When you are merging with a freeway, the merging speed is 65 unless traffic indicates otherwise, not 35 until you get onto the fast lane where you then start to speed up to 65.
7. People who do not look at signs. The sign says “2 cars per lane on green” that doesn’t mean the person in front of you goes, and you stay (unless they are following the person in front of them). It means you and the person in front of you go. Seriously people im going to start honking at you if you don’t get this together.
8. People who ask obvious questions (most of these are covered in the “here’s your sign” bit). Yes, my car has a flat tire, thats why ive taken it off and am putting a new one on. Yes, i would like to be seated i didnt come into your restaurant to stand around and wait. Yes, I did like your cake, I did eat all of it didnt I?
9. People that flip me off when they are at fault. Your finger doesnt mask your incompetence. And no you are not number 1.
10. When people think I cannot do something because I don’t do it or have no desire to do it. Yes, I can cook. No, I will not cook for you unless I want to, I will not be guilted into it.
11. When people judge me because of my age. Just because you have had years living, doesnt mean you have got it right. I haven’t had as much time as you to build bad habits, nor become set in my ways, perhaps I see the truth and you have blinded yourself too it. Truth knows no age.
12. When people screw it up for the rest of us. Why should I be punished for other people’s stupidity / incompetence? Why can’t they suffer for it, and why can’t I be left to suffer for it if I’m as stupid as them. It is not your job to protect me from myself.
13. When people get mad at me when I answer the teacher’s question in class. Look I gave you your 20 seconds to answer it, you choose not too, do not be mad at me for answering it because you were too scared, lazy, or incompetent to do so. If you want more participation grade, then PARTICIPATE! I am not stopping you.
14. When people project their own flaws, behaviors, thoughts, ect onto me. Look I am not you, I do think differently, perhaps I will / do react differently than you.
15. When people pick the turning lane with the most cars. What is wrong with you! You are suposed to alternate lanes, if I go left, you go right, then left, then right, ect. That way each lane should be the same length. Are you dumb? You picked the lane which is too long for the light and now you will not even make the light, had you gone in the lane opposite (many times) than the car in front of you, or at least the shorter line, perhaps you would have made the light.
16. People who pick the turning lane with the most cars, and then proceed to block all other cars from even entering the other lane (which has less cars). Not only are you making other people block traffic but you are choosing for the other people behind you that they shouldnt make that light.
17. People who leave too much space infront of them especially when they cause 16. You are the reason why people get stuck in intersections and block traffic.
18. People who pull into driveways and stop half sticking out into traffic so their bottom doesnt scrape. First, don’t drive a car that is that low to the ground. Second, time your turn, so you arent slamming your breaks on, then acting like your going to turn quickly, then stopping in your turn. We people behind you are timing our speed assuming your arent going to stop right in front of us when you have a clear driveway to pull into.
19. People who think they can just cross in front of cars anywhere, walk slow when crossing, and do not care to give courtesy to the other people in the 2000 lb piece of metal.
20. People who cut me off in traffic, who wouldn’t do it to me in line at the movies.
21. People who use the median to get ahead of me in traffic.
22. People who race to the next stop light. Look its red, you will get there and stop and I will come up slowly and stop, you look like an idiot, I dont.
23. People who try to force me to get to the red light faster. Look its red, you will have to stop there if its red, and if its red. It doesnt matter if you get there a few seconds faster, you too will have to stop.
24. People who tailgate. Go around me if you want to break the law more. Do not try to intimidate me.
25. People who follow too closely. You are just waiting to get into an accident and you are trying to take me with you. Get off my butt, and go around or space out. I swear if you hit the back of my car because you were too close…your going to pay.
26. People who do not know how to time their coasting to the next red light. Look coast at the right speed so that when we get there it hasnt turned red again. But there is no need for your to keep on the gas until you have to slam on your breaks.
27. Motor cycles who use the wrong lanes to split lanes, if I kill you, its your fault.
28. Motor cycle riders who let their girls wear tee shirts and sandals. If her nipple gets rubbed off on pavement (true story) its your fault and her dad should beat you with a shotgun.
29. Motor cycle riders who dont ride with helmets (actually please do, your brain isnt functioning well enough to try to protect itself, maybe the world will be better off without such a brain), or ride in tee shirts and shorts with sandals. Look you may think you are cool, but scars like that are never cool. If you are that dumb, don’t ask for my blood or skin.
30. Commercials that are of a different volume level than the show I was watching.
31. Commercials in general, you are not funny, you insult my intelligence, I do not want your product.
32. People who have sex and are surprised they got pregnant.
33. People who complain when couples say they are pregnant (when they want them to say she is pregnant). She didnt get pregnant by herself, he helped, and I sure hope that he is going to help her raise the child. Yes, specifically she is pregnant, but together they got her there, so he should share some of the title, since he is part of what made it happen and will be responsible for the child too. Pain in childbirth doesnt give you more right to praise in the relationship. When women start getting pregnant by themselves without their men, then I will be ok with people saying “she is pregnant” than “we are pregnant”. Cmon he is a part of the pregnancy too, who else would fetch you your pickles and ice cream?
34. People who make out way too much in public. Hey keep it inside!
35. People who stick their hands in other people’s back pockets (couples), hey have some decency.
36. People who get tattoos / piercings in order to be different…
37. People who think Communism / Socialism is a good thing.
38. People who don’t know basic computer functionality terms and have been using them over a year. If you cannot email, or print please move to amish country. If you do not know what a desktop, menu, option button, control button, command button, alt button, folder, file, hard drive, internet, network, server, web page is, and you have been on a computer for over a year, you must pay me $100 to teach you or stop using a computer. (no really $100 is all i would charge to teach you alllll that)
39. People who pretend to know about something which they have no idea about.
40. People who argue with experts in certain fields without any respect or humilty.
41. Rappers. You are not nearly as cool as you think you are. What have you done for society lately?
42. Most Rap song lyrics. I do not care about your ho, or ride, or dough. I do not care how you are the man, or how you treat your women. I do not care if dumb girls want to sleep with you, or how you can buy them anything they want.
43. People who play rap music way too loud in their car. You are not cool for having huge speakers in your crap civic.
44. People who play mariachi music so loud the speakers distort. CAN YOU NOT HEAR THE DISTORTION?!? I guess with it that loud you probably cannot hear that much.
45. People who try to brush off my believes by saying: “well thats your belief”…ya it is… and it is right and yours is wrong, what were you trying to say with that?
46. People who say they are Christians and say alcohol is evil. Jesus made water into wine…enough said.
47. People who hate smoking, but kill babies in the womb and don’t mention anything about drunk driving. Drunk driving kills more people than smoking. Smoking might help kill someone slowly over decades, but i have yet to hear of too many people who smoked one cig and died. Your drunk drivers car kills, not over years, but instantly, and many times on the first try.
48. People who talk in class while the teacher is talking. How much more rude could you be? Your a freaken adult and you’re in college, show some maturity.
49. People who think nudity, and crude humor are good things to put in movies aimed at teens (or anyone).
50. People who lie even when they are caught.
51. People who only care about money.
52. People who think animals are more important than humans.
53. People who treat animals like humans. Animals cannot be murdered, assassinated, or evil.
54. People who buy into Global Climate change and think we have more influence than the ocean, sun, and volcanoes.
55. People who believe in evolution, and think that its easier to understand and requires less faith than “God did it by His power and wisdom”.
56. People who think news is unbias.
57. People who think college is unbias.
58. People who think crucifixes in urine is art, and Martin Luther King in urine isn’t.
59. The basic bias in art, movies, and science towards relativism, evolution, and liberalism.
60. People who say my views are wrong and I should shut up, and then demand to be heard because their views are right. They silence my right for free speech while demanding I uphold theirs.
61. People who put bumper stickers on their car.
62. People who never take bumper stickers off their car.
63. Christians who think crosses, fishes, “real men pray”, “my boss is a Jewish carpenter”, and any other religious references placed on their cars are a good thing.
64. Christians who think getting a Christian tattoo will somehow please God more.
65. People who think that more evil has been done in the name of religion than atheism.
66. Christians who say “God loves you” to non Christians and think that its going to make a difference, and yet fail to see how thats not the gospel, nor is helpfull for sinners.