There has been much discussion about real diamonds vs fake diamonds and which, one should buy. I know many people who hate real diamonds and think them over priced, and not worth the investment. My discussion here is not meant to rationalize my views as much as it is intended to lay down some clear thinking on the subject for you to think about. First let us discuss why you shouldn’t buy your girl a fake diamond with out her knowledge, and then we will discuss why you should buy a real diamond. Of course this is only for people who have girls who really want real diamonds, I know that many do not care at all, so you might as well just tell them right from the start that it is fake. But if they say they don’ t care, do they really mean it?
1. She will find out! It realy is quite simple, she will find out I assure you. If you think that you can keep a life long secret, anyone you told, and all the jewlers in the world, you are delusional; WAKE UP! Hope that helped ;).
First you might slip up eventually. Don’t you fear this event? Why live in fear and have to carry a lie for so long? Wouldn’t it be easier in the long run for you just to fork out a few grand and buy a real diamond? Isn’t a few grand worth not having this stress for 30 years?
Second, can you keep this from your friends? Do you trust them to keep the secret as well as you can? They do not really have as much invested, and they might slip it to someone else, who might eventually slip it to your girl. Email, facebook, twitter ect are all your enemies in this.
Third do you really suppose that in 30 years of marriage she will never once go to a jewelers to have her ring cleaned, inspected, put back in, appraised, ect? Do you really think that she will never once be with friends who will say to her “hey lets go get our rings cleaned, appraised…” ect? Do you really think the diamond will never fall out or get loose, and that she, in order to save you the time and besides she “was there in the mall anyways”, will not just run into a jewelers to get her ring fixed, and do you think they might not say anything if they realize its fake? I just think there are a lot of things that could go wrong and reveal your little lie, and thus screw your life up, is it really worth the risk?
2. You are lying to her plain and simple. You are intentially telling her something that isn’t true and desiring her to believe a lie, if anything else it is just plain evil. How many lies do you have to tell until you become a lier, 10? And then will a light go off and it get written above your head? (I got that from Ray Comfort). I do not think she wanted to marry a lier, so why lie?
Again she will find out your lie I can guarantee this with certanty (of course you might be the rare case where she dies before finding out, but in that case you have to live with the guilt of being a lier).
Lying is a character flaw in you. It shows that you do not really respect your wife, that you have an unhealthy fear of her, and that you do not really love her like she believes you do, or you would show it by demonstrating your trust in her by telling her the truth. If you respected your wife, you wouldn’t make this lie (more on this in a second). You fear her because you are afraid of telling the truth “hey babe I am too cheap to buy you the real thing, but I know you care about it, so I bought you this fake one and told you it was real”. You do not trust her to love you for you. If you really trusted her you could have told her off the bat “hey babe I just don’t have the money for a real diamond, and I think they are a waste, but I will get you a nice fake and we can tell everyone they are real, and use our money somewhere else”. But hey, isn’t real love sometimes doing for our spouse something they care about, something meaningful to them, but not to us just so they will be happier? Isn’t sacrifice somtimes love?
Some lies are acceptable, when the alternative is a bigger evil, like lying to the nazis about hiding Jews. Other times you are just better off saying “babe I cannot talk about that because I cannot tell you, just trust me”. This is not an acceptable lie: “Yes this is a real diamond, you are worth it babe!”. I bet you if the girl really cares about diamonds that she would rather get a .75 caret real diamond, than a fake 2 caret. Because if she knows its fake, she then has to lie to all her friends and everyone who askes, or she has to tell them it is fake, and then everyone will talk behind your back about what a stingy person you are, especially if you can afford a diamond.
What you are saying by getting a fake diamond is that you are not willing to sacrifice your time or money for a real diamond. Two things come to mind here, either you are too lazy to save your money for a diamond, or you are too young to be getting married. If you cannot afford to spend $2k on a diamond ring, perhaps you shouldn’t be getting married just yet, or perhaps you shouldn’t have bought that car, or have rented that appartment, or bought that t.v, computer ect.
3. Diamonds really do mean something, they are not just trinkets like an Angels hat.
First they are made naturally in nature, and their hardness and clarity make them special and valuable. Second they are crafted by expert craftsmen into amazing jewels that refract and reflect light in an amazing way. They are truly beautiful to behold in many ways. There is just something innately valuable to find something created in nature, cut by man, that is so beautiful. Just as there is something disappointing in a replica created in a lab to MIMIC the real thing. Maybe the big diamond sellers are in it for the money, but do not be deceived, so are these fake diamond makers, they are no more holy in this regard.
They have historical value. Through out history they have been seen as valuable and as standing for beauty and wealth. They last for a long time so much so that some are historical items themselves. They are universally seen as valuable and as representing beauty and wealth.
There is meaning in sacrifice. If buy your girl a diamond instead of that new G35 you want, or instead of that new laptop you want, or that big screen t.v. or that motorcycle, you are sacrificing something for her. You are saying that she is more important to you than these other things you could spend your money on. Sometimes love should hurt, you should have to pay a cost to demonstrate your love. If doing the right thing, or loving someone was all reward and no cost, it wouldn’t really hold that much value now would it? When you get married you are saying that you are willing to give up many things in order to love another person, to make them happy and to take care of them. If your girl really likes diamonds and really wants one, well you should get her one, and not lie to her and cheap out by getting her a fake one.
4. What do you mean they have value? Many people use this line as if they think the only value diamonds have is in their monetary value.
First let me say that there is nothing in life that is inherently valued, all of it is priced by what people are willing to pay. It doesn’t matter what the supply is high or low, if the price isn’t what people want to pay, they will not, if it is, they will. So really it doesn’t matter if the supply is artificially held back with diamonds, because people are still willing to pay the prices they do. Yes, we who want to buy a new diamond would like the price to go down, but those who own diamonds would not. Lowering the price only helps people who want to buy new diamonds, not people who already have diamonds. When you buy a diamond it doesn’t lose its value like a car, it keeps it, its like buying gold. So, if you want the price of diamonds to drop, you are really wanting to screw all the people who have invested their money in diamonds, just so you can fork out less cash. Let me just say that most people want diamonds to be highly valued, there are plenty of cheap things you can buy which are valueless, its is nice to have something you can buy that is of high value, it adds meaning to the gift. What makes Diamonds a great gift is that they are valuable. If a 3 caret diamond went from being $30k to being $300, would your wife be as happy with it, as when it was worth $30k? Would it carry the same meaning? There is meaning in the amount of money you spend on your friends. Just like if you took your friend out for a steak, that would hold more meaning than if you took him to fast food.
The Diamond companies actually are doing all the diamond owners a favor by holding back the supply, they are keeping the price of their diamonds up. So when you buy a diamond, you know that it will only eventually go up in price as long as the supply is controlled, that is like insurance to you, it means you are making an investment, and not just some frivolous expenditure.
So, we can see that releasing the supply will ultimately be bad for everyone, what about fake diamonds? Well fake diamonds hurts people wanting to buy diamonds, but not those who 0wn them already. Because as fakes become better, and cheaper, the real thing will become more valuable, and its flaws will actually add value to the diamond then take away from it, because they are made in nature (the flaws) and are not easily replicated, nor are usually desired to be replicated.
5. So why buy diamonds? I think there is good reasons to not lie and buy your girl a fake diamond, unless that’s what she wants. But why buy a real diamond at all?
First, they are beautiful and fun too look at.
Second, they hold meaning and value and demonstrate your willingness to sacrifice for your girl.
Third, she wants them, lets just tell the truth, if all girls were given a choice between a real diamond and a fake one with no cost to them or their family, they would pick the real one. Usually they are just cost conscience and do not want to spend the money on a real one, or they think it is vain to own jewelery, remove those mental blocks and they will take a diamond given them for free. In fact I would bet anyone 1 million dollars that I could take a perfect 2 caret diamond and a fake 2 caret diamond, and offer them both to anyone explaining what they are and that I would give which ever they want to them, that every normal person would pick the real diamond, I mean why would you pick a fake over a real one. Even if I told an bushman “hey I have a fake stone here, and a real one, which do you want” they would understand that real is better than fake.
6. Things to know about buying real diamonds.
1. You can spend too much. You do not need to blow your budget and be unwise with your money, but it should cost you and hurt a little, meaning you should have to give up something(s) for it. That just makes it more meaningful.
2. Quality is more important than size in the long run, however, if you can only afford a high quality .5 caret, or a medium quality 1 caret, go for medium. But if it is between a high quality 1 caret and a low quality 1.5 caret, stick with the one. Never get low quality, always go for Med or above.
3. Follow the 4 C’s. The Cut is the most important always go for Perfect/Excellent/Ideal cuts, sacrifice size to get a better cut. Next the color is the most important, try to stay in the whites, do not go below I if you can help it GIA cert I, G,H are preferred, and if you have the cash go F. Unless it is an investment, stay away from D,E they are just wastes of your money for engagement rings / wedding rings (or unless you are rich). Next is clarity, you should never want to dip below SI2 try to stay SI1 and above, you do not want to see the flaws with your naked eye, and you want them to stay off the crown, they should be on the sides or bottom of the diamond. Last is Caret, Caret is weight, not size. Diamonds can bet cut to look “bigger” or smaller and be the same caret, thats why you want a perfect cut, then it will be the right dimentions. I would say shoot for 1 Caret dimonds if you can go for like .95 or something because its much cheaper than 1.0+ caret diamonds and you will not notice the size difference. You can get a decent 1 caret for around $3-4K if you shop around. Unless you are rich do not buy name brand diamonds, Tiffiny & Co will charge you $10k for a 1 Caret, which you could buy and have custom made for under $5k and have it as good if not better quality. I guarantee you they are not putting in a $10k valued diamond into that ring.
4. Sparkle is the most important part of a diamond. Do not put it in a setting that robs it of this. Also little diamonds do not sparkle as well as a big diamond. I know people will be upset with me saying this, but really your ring sparkles better if you have one big diamond than hundreds of little ones, and in fact many times those little ones are robbing the big one of its sparkle. Of course if you like that look, go for it, but if you want sparkle go for a big single diamond. Now the best of both worlds is one big diamond with little ones on the band, where the little do not impair the sparkle of the big one. But this is also very expensive, and if you want sparkle for cheaper go with one big diamond.
5. You can insure a $5k diamond for probably $50-75 a year that means in 66-100 years of paying insurance you will pay for the diamond again (not including it going up in price). It might get stolen or lost before 66 years comes up, and thus you actually get a new diamond for less. But again if you have the money, or the investment power, you could make more investing that money and saving to replace your diamond. My point here is you do not need to buy from Diamond places that charge you double for “lifetime warrenty”.
6. Go to diamond people recommended by people who know what they are talking about and whom you trust. Too many places will rip you off. They will switch out your diamond when setting / cleaning it not to mention over charge you for a diamond.
Do your own research and study. I have and see how much I have learned already 🙂
Only buy what you are happy with, its a big investment.
Take your time.
Set a budget and stick too it, there are always bigger better diamonds you will want, have self control, but the biggest, best diamond you can for your budget.
Once you have picked your diamond, never let it out of your sight. If it has flaws memorize where they are and double check it before you leave, and any time you hand it to someone to work on, double check your diamond afterwords.
Having a second pair of educated eyes help you, is…helpful 🙂
Get it certified if it isnt, that way you can prove it’s your diamond by showing where the flaws are, and what the exact weight is.
Anyways I hope I have convinced you not to buy a fake diamond and lie about it. I hope you now want to buy a real diamond, to save for it and get a good one. And I hope I have provided some helpful information. If you have bought a fake diamond and have lied about it, well I have some thoughts how to remedy it, but it will hurt, you will pay, and sooner is always better than later. Better to tell the truth and hurt now, than lie and hurt later.